Hi, well i'm in my second week of my first year at college and I don't
know if I should tell my roommates i'm bisexual. I'm so nervous how they
would react but from but I heard that many people would like to know if
their roommate is gay, bisexual or whatever and i feel like i would
have to tell them but i don't want them to freak out.
I lost good few of my friends in secondary school because of it, in their words they didn't feel 'safe' around me, which really sucked because I was always their from them and would never ever did anything to them. I just don't want the same thing to happen because I tried to hide this type of feelings because I really I would rather have an easier time but for some weird reason i can't, even with liking guys as well.
I am not going to do things like that around them but do you think they have a right to know?
Thanks for reading.
For me it's strange, why do all these guys turn Gay?, I mean what do they feel?, I was in KFC the other day and some 7 feet tall white dude with make up and blonde hair and acting all funny, I mean damn, that's totally weird. I mean I had some Jewish friend we hit the gym together and everything, lol and when I told him I have a girl friend he was like angry and stuff then I understood he's gay. Lol what the hell is going on in the world, I mean god bless my wife is a beautiful young russian lady, and when ever we visit her parents in Moscow I love walking In the famous street of arbat and just watch all these beautiful russian girls and thank God that I'm straight, why the hell these guys are leaving all these amazingly beautiful young ladies to go and become GAY?, it's no disrespect for ya'll piece, I respect your choice in life, but I wanna understand why?, and what do you guys feel?, also girls what do you think of gay men?
Hi guys, I know many of you know this situation.
So Im gay and I hate when people ask me that stupid "Do you have a girlfriend" question. I dont really want to go deep and discuss my sexuality with everyone, but then again I cant just say "No" and look all boring forever alone person. What is a good, witty but polite comeback to this awkward question.
Thank you!
I seriously don't, I'm christian and believe that if God meant man and
woman to be together then that is what's righteous but I've been having
arguments with an atheist friend of mine who thinks u can be both? Being
christian mens u chose to follow God and abide and follow by his words
right? So how can u then say ur christian when ur outrightly going
against what he said about man and woman, and how that's how its meant
to be? Right?
Now imagine this as a pool, I’m going to dive into this head first and probably get flamed for what I’m about to say. But Most people of any Branch of the Christian faith aren’t anymore Christian then Adolph Hitler himself was, Christian stands for Christ Like which means acting as Jesus Christ would act. Jesus Christ accepted everyone and helped everyone, Christian does not mean follow the guidebook that was written, re-written, translated & Re-translated centuries after Jesus Christ died. His “Followers” basically turned their backs on his teachings, spreading hatred and bigotry simple as they saw fit. Jesus Christ Wouldn’t like most so called Christians, as I don’t like most So called Christians. You shouldn’t need to label yourself Christian, it should be within your actions to act Christ Like. It should be clear without ever saying a word, people should see it without having to see you at a church. As the saying goes “Going to church makes you no more Christian, then going to a garage makes you a mechanic”.
Hypothetically, in the setting of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania:
Two guys - a jock and a drama geek - both high school seniors (and over 18), have been having disagreements all year. The jock has been harassing the drama geek all year because he has recently come out as gay. The geek doesn't take things lying down and generally fights back though there is very little he can do because he doesn't have his parents' support nor the support of his school (which is a private Catholic school, with teachers and a principal who can't outwardly admit to being homophobic but always turn a blind eye to the drama geek's harassment).
Finally, just before graduation, the jock decides that he's had enough of drama geek "flaunting off" his sexuality (in reality, the drama geek had done nothing but inadvertently come out to his peers, tried futilely to stand up against his homophobic classmates and teachers, and made out with his boyfriend in an empty classroom which had been witnessed by the jock and angered him for no logical reason).
The jock brains the drama geek with a swing at the head, leaving him bleeding out on the pavement. The drama geek had to be rushed to the hospital, had surgery to repair damage to his brain and fractured skull, was in a coma for two weeks and had to have physical therapy for months because the blow to the head had caused him some brain damage in the form of impaired motor skills.
The jock had been caught in the act of braining the drama geek and was arrested but he has wealthy parents who hired a ruthless lawyer. Coupled with a homophobic judge, the jock was given a slap on the wrist, sentenced a few hundred hours of community service and let off without any further punishment considering it's his first offense, despite the fact that he'd nearly murdered the drama geek and had done so without any provocation from anyone - least of all the drama geek who hadn't made out with his boyfriend to antagonize anyone.
If this were a more just world, and the jock didn't have wealthy parents, a good lawyer or a homophobic judge on his side, what would the fair and appropriate sentence be for such a horrifying crime? He'd attempted to kill a fellow student who'd done him no harm (whom he had bullied and tormented for months in front of all his peers and teachers who had done absolutely nothing to stop it). He had brained the drama geek and given him brain damage. He'd attacked another human being solely because he didn't like their sexual orientation.
I'd like to know the number of years he'd be sentenced to in prison, appeal or no appeal, charges he'd be found guilty off, charges brought up in court but he'd be found not guilty of, etc.
Definitely Assault and Battery, I'm not sure what else there is on you being ridiculed for your sexual orientation, but in my honest opinion. You need to press charges with a different lawyer then. I don't have any of the ACTUAL evidence in front of me so i don't know what transpired but you could definitely get this jock in some serious trouble. If you pressed charges and you noticed the judges homophobic bias according to
28 USC § 144 - Bias or prejudice of judge
Whenever a party to any proceeding in a district court makes and files a timely and sufficient affidavit that the judge before whom the matter is pending has a personal bias or prejudice either against him or in favor of any adverse party, such judge shall proceed no further therein, but another judge shall be assigned to hear such proceeding.
The affidavit shall state the facts and the reasons for the belief that bias or prejudice exists, and shall be filed not less than ten days before the beginning of the term at which the proceeding is to be heard, or good cause shall be shown for failure to file it within such time. A party may file only one such affidavit in any case. It shall be accompanied by a certificate of counsel of record stating that it is made in good faith.
Find a legal library and get some legal consultation and a better lawyer.
If you didnt press charges and it was just his hearing for being arrested....Press charges.
Edit: If you press charges youll definitely get compensated for all medical fees, as well as compensation for your suffering etc. If this story is as straight forward as you say and their is sufficient proof no lawyer will be able to save this kid's ***. dont matter how wealthy they are, get yourself lawyer just as good even if it's expensive....your payout for a trial won will be more than enough to pay for the lawyer.
So we're just a couple kids in high school. We started "dating". We don't go on dates. We're both pretty broke right now. We just kick it in our friend circle for the most part. Over the summer, we all got drunk and we ended up walking off to my truck and started making out for a while. We didn't really know each other too well at this point. But we both decided that we like each other and all that good stuff. So the next time i saw her, we we're drinking and toking and having fun. We ended up having another episode where we walk off into the darkness to get some privacy. We knew each other a little better at that point and we both wanted to take it all the way. She was down. I was too. So were just going at it in a grassy field. It was pretty cold and wet. (Oh the great ideas we get when we're drunk lol) Its all good to go until i realize i cant get it up. I just had to apologize to her and get out of this field. (We both agreed that the next time, we should have a bed or a couch or something that isn't a freakin' field lol) The next time we got together, was at a party at one of my dude's house. Again, we were getting drunk. We go off into his camper and start making some stuff happen. I'm just buying some time by eating her out and fingering her. She got off twice before she told me what she really wanted. Again, i just couldn't get it up. No matter what i did or thought about. It wasn't happening. We were in a comfortable environment. I didn't understand. I just had to apologize again. I felt bad because she hasn't had sex in over a year. I wanted to make it happen for her. But i wasn't supposed to be at that party and now i'm on lock-down. I only see her at school. We agreed that as soon as i get my keys back, i'm gonna take her home after school and were gonna do it. But this time it will be sober. Every encounter, alcohol screwed me over. At least i think its the alcohol. I don't have a problem with that any other time. I know i'm not gay. What can be done to ensure that ill be able to get it up? I can't strike out with this girl 3 times. I don't want that. Any thoughts and suggestions would be awesome. And please don't lecture me about any of the activities i engage in. Your comment wont stop me. So don't even bother. THANX!
Two things: yes, too much alcohol can have that affect on a male and, secondly, you are suffering from what's known as performance anxiety. It's a common ailment among males of all ages. When you entertain fear of not being able to please that's what your body reacts to when what it should be reacting to is HER!
The mind/body connection is real. Unless you train yourself to relax and actually enjoy being in her company you will continue to experience flaccidness. From your description you're overly focusing on pleasing her instead of joining with her in a sexually pleasurable and exciting adventure. That's not fair to you and it's certainly not fair to her because she literally can have an orgasm without you (many women do, btw) using a sex toy!
Retrain your brain to stop "looking in from the outside" to actually enjoying giving and receiving loving kisses and other touches and you'll surprise yourself with instant erections the moment you two get close. It'll be automatic, you'll be genuinely excited and joyful and she'll see and feel the difference instantly.
Remember, too, that s** is not something one person "does to" another. It's a [mutually] enjoying activity for two people who choose to engage in a "conversation" only it's more physical than verbal. Think: Do you enjoy a conversation where the onus for keeping it going falls on you? No! Of course you don't. The most enjoyable conversations are when there is equal participation of two people. That's when it's fun and both persons experience the alternate give and take natural flow of communication.
Conversations are merely practice for intercourse where give and take is also an important and very necessary component. Your girlfriend's orgasms are her responsibility. Sounds strange? Well, the truth is it's not [your job] to "give" her an orgasm it's hers and vice versa. It's your job to enjoy the moment and not view it as just another job. If you approach lovemaking as work you're never going to have a "happy ending!"
Hopefully I've shown you how to move into an environment of joy and mutual excitement and move out of the realm of fear. Fear shuts you down. Joy lifts you up! Now get yourself excited for your next date and get ready to enjoy what she means to you and how pleasurable it feels when you are together in your own very private intimate physical "conversations."
I lost good few of my friends in secondary school because of it, in their words they didn't feel 'safe' around me, which really sucked because I was always their from them and would never ever did anything to them. I just don't want the same thing to happen because I tried to hide this type of feelings because I really I would rather have an easier time but for some weird reason i can't, even with liking guys as well.
I am not going to do things like that around them but do you think they have a right to know?
Thanks for reading.
For me it's strange, why do all these guys turn Gay?, I mean what do they feel?, I was in KFC the other day and some 7 feet tall white dude with make up and blonde hair and acting all funny, I mean damn, that's totally weird. I mean I had some Jewish friend we hit the gym together and everything, lol and when I told him I have a girl friend he was like angry and stuff then I understood he's gay. Lol what the hell is going on in the world, I mean god bless my wife is a beautiful young russian lady, and when ever we visit her parents in Moscow I love walking In the famous street of arbat and just watch all these beautiful russian girls and thank God that I'm straight, why the hell these guys are leaving all these amazingly beautiful young ladies to go and become GAY?, it's no disrespect for ya'll piece, I respect your choice in life, but I wanna understand why?, and what do you guys feel?, also girls what do you think of gay men?
As a proud Canadian and a proud gay
man, let me tell you that I have a great life that happens to include
being gay. I am happy to live in a country where finally (I'm a senior
citizen) I can live openly with my same sex spouse and be accepted by my
neighbours and not find discrimination. It is because of the activists
whom you denigrate in your question that I have been able to achieve
the degree of freedom that you have always had. I'm not sure what
newspapers or media you frequent, but as a news hound, I am certainly
not aware of the "gay conspiracy" that you point at. However, if you
really want to live in a country where gays are kept out of the
spotlight, I understand that Russia is a great place to live. Try it
and we'll both be happy..
Good luck.
Good luck.
I could tell just by the question that you are homophobic.
Look. I lived in one of the gayest cities in America per capita for 10 years. I have lived and worked around some of the most flamingly gay people you could imagine. Some of those people became good friends of mine. I don't EVER remember ANY of them talking or complaining about being gay. They are not out to make you gay, so relax. They, if we're going to generalize, want what most people want in life. If you feel like gayness is somehow making your life worse, you need to look very closely at what is causing that, because most people don't feel that way.
I mean look at your question: You say gays need to be more sensitive to your sexuality, then in the same breath go on about how offended you are when they ask that you be sensitive to their sexuality. Does that sound like a person that thinks before he types?
Look. I lived in one of the gayest cities in America per capita for 10 years. I have lived and worked around some of the most flamingly gay people you could imagine. Some of those people became good friends of mine. I don't EVER remember ANY of them talking or complaining about being gay. They are not out to make you gay, so relax. They, if we're going to generalize, want what most people want in life. If you feel like gayness is somehow making your life worse, you need to look very closely at what is causing that, because most people don't feel that way.
I mean look at your question: You say gays need to be more sensitive to your sexuality, then in the same breath go on about how offended you are when they ask that you be sensitive to their sexuality. Does that sound like a person that thinks before he types?
So Im gay and I hate when people ask me that stupid "Do you have a girlfriend" question. I dont really want to go deep and discuss my sexuality with everyone, but then again I cant just say "No" and look all boring forever alone person. What is a good, witty but polite comeback to this awkward question.
Thank you!
Last week a friend of a friends friend gave me a
pet poodle because they had to move into a rental property that doesn't
allow pets.
Well they asked me if I wanted it of course and being a lover of all fury creatures and after contemplating getting a little dog for a couple of years I was more than happy to give the little munchkin a new home.
BUT, a few of my friends are saying i'm gay because I walk around with a pet poodle called Pansy in my arms.
She's adorable so naturally i'm going to find it hard to put her down and I never even picked her name.
I explained to my friends that the previous owners named her Pansy but they just roll there eyes as if to say i'm lying.
No matter what they say I won't get rid of her but this is really getting up my goat.
Are they right in saying that most people would look at a 25 year old guy with a poodle and wonder if he was gay ?
Straight guys should be able to have small dogs too without being thought of as being gay.
Well they asked me if I wanted it of course and being a lover of all fury creatures and after contemplating getting a little dog for a couple of years I was more than happy to give the little munchkin a new home.
BUT, a few of my friends are saying i'm gay because I walk around with a pet poodle called Pansy in my arms.
She's adorable so naturally i'm going to find it hard to put her down and I never even picked her name.
I explained to my friends that the previous owners named her Pansy but they just roll there eyes as if to say i'm lying.
No matter what they say I won't get rid of her but this is really getting up my goat.
Are they right in saying that most people would look at a 25 year old guy with a poodle and wonder if he was gay ?
Straight guys should be able to have small dogs too without being thought of as being gay.
Taste the Rainbow and Bad Socks have missed the point.
I know what gay means but my friends are saying that because I have a white poodle called Pansy it makes me appear gay.
Just like if I were to pick flowers or chase butterflies in the park.
whether i've had secret sexual relations with my straight friends in the past is beside the point.
And anyway we are all prone to drink too much and lose the ability to know what we are doing.
I come on here to get support and now i'm feeling gayer than ever with that comment from Taste the Rainbow.
I want to know if people on here seen a 25 year old guy with a pet poodle, would you think the guy was gay ?
I know what gay means but my friends are saying that because I have a white poodle called Pansy it makes me appear gay.
Just like if I were to pick flowers or chase butterflies in the park.
whether i've had secret sexual relations with my straight friends in the past is beside the point.
And anyway we are all prone to drink too much and lose the ability to know what we are doing.
I come on here to get support and now i'm feeling gayer than ever with that comment from Taste the Rainbow.
I want to know if people on here seen a 25 year old guy with a pet poodle, would you think the guy was gay ?
Now imagine this as a pool, I’m going to dive into this head first and probably get flamed for what I’m about to say. But Most people of any Branch of the Christian faith aren’t anymore Christian then Adolph Hitler himself was, Christian stands for Christ Like which means acting as Jesus Christ would act. Jesus Christ accepted everyone and helped everyone, Christian does not mean follow the guidebook that was written, re-written, translated & Re-translated centuries after Jesus Christ died. His “Followers” basically turned their backs on his teachings, spreading hatred and bigotry simple as they saw fit. Jesus Christ Wouldn’t like most so called Christians, as I don’t like most So called Christians. You shouldn’t need to label yourself Christian, it should be within your actions to act Christ Like. It should be clear without ever saying a word, people should see it without having to see you at a church. As the saying goes “Going to church makes you no more Christian, then going to a garage makes you a mechanic”.
- regardless how you look at it religion and sexual orientation are nothing more then labels. religion doesnt make your SO any different then someone who is nonreligious o_O
and no theres nothing wrong with being gay. if you did a lot of fact looking around youd realize the bible has been changed A LOT through history not to mention things have been added in and that are even PARTS of the bible that were left out for a reason or withheld from the public. plus theres a lot of facts out there that actually show that jesus was most likely gay. - I think you can choose to be a follower of God. You can't really choose your sexuality. I think that the bible was written by men not God. It is impossible to follow every rule in the bible.
I think the best anyone can do is be the best person they can be. Love God. Ask for his blessings and forgiveness.Yes. You can definitely be gay and Christian. One big feature in Christianity is that your aim is to be 'Christ-Like', and Jesus was accepting of everybody- he even accepted prostitutes, something that most 'accepting' people today would struggle to do. Jesus said absolutely NOTHING about being gay, in a positive or negative way, and so obviously this is some indication that its okay, especially since parts of the bible have been edited out over time (many of the parts about women) and bits have been added in to suit the opinions of the religious rulers of the time. This means that even 500 years ago, those sexist men that believed women were the lesser sex and destined to kiss the feet of their husbands couldn't think of a valid reason for Jesus to have anything against gay people.
I am a christian and have been my entire life, and I personally believe that God has an individual plan for every single one of us- this means that he has seen our entire lives and has destined things to happen the exact way they do happen in order to put together the puzzle pieces of even bigger events. Therefore God must have decided to make these people gay for a reason. Maybe he wanted to teach acceptance to someone in their lives, or compassion, or understanding or anything else. If he wanted to, he could create a gay christian man or woman and teach their church community a lesson. Maybe this sudden surge in acceptance of different sexualities is on step onto Gods staircase to Worldwide peace, compassion and love. I think being gay and a christian perhaps even makes you a better person that many other Christians, because it means that you have faced oppression and pain and kept your faith the whole way through. We talk so much about helping all these persecuted Christians in other countries, but its just empty words until we start helping the people right in front of us who are being persecuted for loving the same gender and God. As Christians we are a FAMILY, and family means unconditional love and acceptance.
God isn't homophobic.
He didn't make people gay or lame.
Mankind fell away from God and broke the divine order of things.
Cause and effect.
God leaves many things as they are, mainly. He is open to bless all that come to him. Some are certainly healed, by his Grace.
His order of things is for those who need the joys of sex and marriage, to do so as one man and one woman, which he has designed our bodies to do.
For the rest, if they are Christians, to abstain and live a life pleasing to him.
That is biblical. Which path do you prefer,, the World's or God's?
He didn't make people gay or lame.
Mankind fell away from God and broke the divine order of things.
Cause and effect.
God leaves many things as they are, mainly. He is open to bless all that come to him. Some are certainly healed, by his Grace.
His order of things is for those who need the joys of sex and marriage, to do so as one man and one woman, which he has designed our bodies to do.
For the rest, if they are Christians, to abstain and live a life pleasing to him.
That is biblical. Which path do you prefer,, the World's or God's?
Well I think the masses and masses of
gay Christians would say so. The bible may call homosexuals an
abomination, but it also condemns a lot of other things a lot of
Christians make a part of their day to day lives. Like interracial
marriage, sex before marriage, divorce, worshiping false
idols(celebrities), lying, stealing, and even certain types of food and
materials for crying out loud! Don't get me wrong, there are loads of
"true" Christians out there who fallow the bible wholly and without
question. These people are most commonly found in small secluded towns
and horror movies.
Two guys - a jock and a drama geek - both high school seniors (and over 18), have been having disagreements all year. The jock has been harassing the drama geek all year because he has recently come out as gay. The geek doesn't take things lying down and generally fights back though there is very little he can do because he doesn't have his parents' support nor the support of his school (which is a private Catholic school, with teachers and a principal who can't outwardly admit to being homophobic but always turn a blind eye to the drama geek's harassment).
Finally, just before graduation, the jock decides that he's had enough of drama geek "flaunting off" his sexuality (in reality, the drama geek had done nothing but inadvertently come out to his peers, tried futilely to stand up against his homophobic classmates and teachers, and made out with his boyfriend in an empty classroom which had been witnessed by the jock and angered him for no logical reason).
The jock brains the drama geek with a swing at the head, leaving him bleeding out on the pavement. The drama geek had to be rushed to the hospital, had surgery to repair damage to his brain and fractured skull, was in a coma for two weeks and had to have physical therapy for months because the blow to the head had caused him some brain damage in the form of impaired motor skills.
The jock had been caught in the act of braining the drama geek and was arrested but he has wealthy parents who hired a ruthless lawyer. Coupled with a homophobic judge, the jock was given a slap on the wrist, sentenced a few hundred hours of community service and let off without any further punishment considering it's his first offense, despite the fact that he'd nearly murdered the drama geek and had done so without any provocation from anyone - least of all the drama geek who hadn't made out with his boyfriend to antagonize anyone.
If this were a more just world, and the jock didn't have wealthy parents, a good lawyer or a homophobic judge on his side, what would the fair and appropriate sentence be for such a horrifying crime? He'd attempted to kill a fellow student who'd done him no harm (whom he had bullied and tormented for months in front of all his peers and teachers who had done absolutely nothing to stop it). He had brained the drama geek and given him brain damage. He'd attacked another human being solely because he didn't like their sexual orientation.
I'd like to know the number of years he'd be sentenced to in prison, appeal or no appeal, charges he'd be found guilty off, charges brought up in court but he'd be found not guilty of, etc.
Definitely Assault and Battery, I'm not sure what else there is on you being ridiculed for your sexual orientation, but in my honest opinion. You need to press charges with a different lawyer then. I don't have any of the ACTUAL evidence in front of me so i don't know what transpired but you could definitely get this jock in some serious trouble. If you pressed charges and you noticed the judges homophobic bias according to
28 USC § 144 - Bias or prejudice of judge
Whenever a party to any proceeding in a district court makes and files a timely and sufficient affidavit that the judge before whom the matter is pending has a personal bias or prejudice either against him or in favor of any adverse party, such judge shall proceed no further therein, but another judge shall be assigned to hear such proceeding.
The affidavit shall state the facts and the reasons for the belief that bias or prejudice exists, and shall be filed not less than ten days before the beginning of the term at which the proceeding is to be heard, or good cause shall be shown for failure to file it within such time. A party may file only one such affidavit in any case. It shall be accompanied by a certificate of counsel of record stating that it is made in good faith.
Find a legal library and get some legal consultation and a better lawyer.
If you didnt press charges and it was just his hearing for being arrested....Press charges.
Edit: If you press charges youll definitely get compensated for all medical fees, as well as compensation for your suffering etc. If this story is as straight forward as you say and their is sufficient proof no lawyer will be able to save this kid's ***. dont matter how wealthy they are, get yourself lawyer just as good even if it's expensive....your payout for a trial won will be more than enough to pay for the lawyer.
So we're just a couple kids in high school. We started "dating". We don't go on dates. We're both pretty broke right now. We just kick it in our friend circle for the most part. Over the summer, we all got drunk and we ended up walking off to my truck and started making out for a while. We didn't really know each other too well at this point. But we both decided that we like each other and all that good stuff. So the next time i saw her, we we're drinking and toking and having fun. We ended up having another episode where we walk off into the darkness to get some privacy. We knew each other a little better at that point and we both wanted to take it all the way. She was down. I was too. So were just going at it in a grassy field. It was pretty cold and wet. (Oh the great ideas we get when we're drunk lol) Its all good to go until i realize i cant get it up. I just had to apologize to her and get out of this field. (We both agreed that the next time, we should have a bed or a couch or something that isn't a freakin' field lol) The next time we got together, was at a party at one of my dude's house. Again, we were getting drunk. We go off into his camper and start making some stuff happen. I'm just buying some time by eating her out and fingering her. She got off twice before she told me what she really wanted. Again, i just couldn't get it up. No matter what i did or thought about. It wasn't happening. We were in a comfortable environment. I didn't understand. I just had to apologize again. I felt bad because she hasn't had sex in over a year. I wanted to make it happen for her. But i wasn't supposed to be at that party and now i'm on lock-down. I only see her at school. We agreed that as soon as i get my keys back, i'm gonna take her home after school and were gonna do it. But this time it will be sober. Every encounter, alcohol screwed me over. At least i think its the alcohol. I don't have a problem with that any other time. I know i'm not gay. What can be done to ensure that ill be able to get it up? I can't strike out with this girl 3 times. I don't want that. Any thoughts and suggestions would be awesome. And please don't lecture me about any of the activities i engage in. Your comment wont stop me. So don't even bother. THANX!
Two things: yes, too much alcohol can have that affect on a male and, secondly, you are suffering from what's known as performance anxiety. It's a common ailment among males of all ages. When you entertain fear of not being able to please that's what your body reacts to when what it should be reacting to is HER!
The mind/body connection is real. Unless you train yourself to relax and actually enjoy being in her company you will continue to experience flaccidness. From your description you're overly focusing on pleasing her instead of joining with her in a sexually pleasurable and exciting adventure. That's not fair to you and it's certainly not fair to her because she literally can have an orgasm without you (many women do, btw) using a sex toy!
Retrain your brain to stop "looking in from the outside" to actually enjoying giving and receiving loving kisses and other touches and you'll surprise yourself with instant erections the moment you two get close. It'll be automatic, you'll be genuinely excited and joyful and she'll see and feel the difference instantly.
Remember, too, that s** is not something one person "does to" another. It's a [mutually] enjoying activity for two people who choose to engage in a "conversation" only it's more physical than verbal. Think: Do you enjoy a conversation where the onus for keeping it going falls on you? No! Of course you don't. The most enjoyable conversations are when there is equal participation of two people. That's when it's fun and both persons experience the alternate give and take natural flow of communication.
Conversations are merely practice for intercourse where give and take is also an important and very necessary component. Your girlfriend's orgasms are her responsibility. Sounds strange? Well, the truth is it's not [your job] to "give" her an orgasm it's hers and vice versa. It's your job to enjoy the moment and not view it as just another job. If you approach lovemaking as work you're never going to have a "happy ending!"
Hopefully I've shown you how to move into an environment of joy and mutual excitement and move out of the realm of fear. Fear shuts you down. Joy lifts you up! Now get yourself excited for your next date and get ready to enjoy what she means to you and how pleasurable it feels when you are together in your own very private intimate physical "conversations."
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